I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
