This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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