how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
vagina is talking i cant
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
