where am i from again
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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