cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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