I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm getting married
To pizza
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
