I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
