I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
