problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
