I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
