So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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