Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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