"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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