did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
