Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
