No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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