but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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