just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
