Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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