Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
