Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
