More tranny stories later!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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