nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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