the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
