Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
