Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
