So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
