I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
