question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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