At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
