I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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