Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
