Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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