I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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