Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
