i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
