These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
