glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
did i just pee glitter
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
