Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
