I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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