I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
