I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job Iām going to wake him up with in the morning!
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