i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
