my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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