i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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