it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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