I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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