I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
