You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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