bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
